Led

Why can't I find anyone who loves Zeppelin as much as I do?

Sing it, Robert.

Oh, wait...I did meet such a person.  However, said person, for all intents and purposes, may as well not exist anymore.  Back to square one...

Misanthrope

...or agoraphobic?  Or both?

It seems that many people I know can't tell the difference between being alone and being lonely.  I love being alone.  I enjoy my company.  My thoughts entertain me. I don't feel lonely at all.   But it's as if people cannot believe such a thing possible and they think that someone like me is a.) hiding their feelings or putting on a brave face or whatever so nobody feels sorry for them, or 2.) claiming an anti-social stance in order to seem cool or interesting or mysterious or some other stupid something.

I think that people who can't understand the simple pleasure of being alone are people who don't enjoy being by themselves.  I often have friends or family who try to bond with me by saying, "Oh, I know how you feel.  I really like my alone-time.  It's great to get away from people!"  The friends and family members who say this more than likely are either in a relationship, living with a roommate or other relative, or they have children.  So, no.  I don't think they get it.  Wanting to be alone only because you are constantly surrounded by people is not the same.  These folks just want a break; I want the lifestyle.

My dad described me once as a social loner.  I love my friends and love spending time with them.  But at the end of the day, I have to be by myself.  I have to give the old Irish goodbye and shuffle off somewhere to pick my own brain.  The only way I can keep from hating everyone I know is to drastically limit the amount of face-time I have with them.

It's weird.  The weirdest thing is when I meet someone who I want to see all the time.  Talk about confusion...

I saw you today.

Whistle

In just over a month, I will be in Juliette, GA.  Alas, I will be there to attend a wedding, so I will not be having fried green tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe.

Most of the guests at the wedding will be people I knew in college.  I can't decide if I'm looking forward to seeing these people or not...

It's not because I don't like them.  I love my college friends.  Good times, great oldies.  But it seems that whenever you get together with old friends, people insist on reminiscing and droning on endlessly about the nostalgia of the good old days.  And yes, I indulge from time to time.  Who doesn't like to remember the good old days?  But then I start to wonder if maybe we're all just romanticizing things.  Or maybe the reason for such nostalgia is that people are unhappy with their lives in the present.  Or maybe people just don't know how to talk to each other anymore.  It doesn't take much conversational skill to say, "Hey, do you remember that time when...?"

This entry is going nowhere.  I don't have much to say.

Graphic

I would expect my site to be pretty dark.  I know everyone expects rainbows and unicorns from me, but I've got to keep people on their toes...

5tttttttttttttttttttt  (my cat's contribution to this post)

Ahem.  Moving on.

I wouldn't mind having some images that relate to my stories.  And I wouldn't be particularly bothered if people didn't "get" the presence of some images, because I doubt I would actually have whole pieces of fiction on my site. Thus, folks might not easily associate the graphics with my writing.  But in Dream Land, where many people have read my short stories and all the people visiting my site would be familiar with my work, it would be cool to use images and graphics that would make sense for those who actually knew something about my fiction. 

Example?  Well, in a recent story, a character washes his hands (for significant reasons that you cannot know about unless you have read said story.  Click here for an excerpt) and so maybe I would feature a dripping sink on my site...

I dunno.

Content

To be all repetitive and shit, I'm not fond of this whole idea that I have to put myself out there in order to put my writing out there.  Whatever happened to the reclusive, hermit-y writers of yore?  

Fine.

I would much prefer my site be more about my writing than about me.  I'm not interested in providing folks with a bio; save that for when I'm dead (if anything interesting ever happens in my life, that is).  If anyone wanted to know anything about me, I'd rather make the bastards work for it.

Anyway.  Even though the site would focus on my writing, I don't know that I'd necessarily want to put examples of my work up... 

Clearly, I have no idea what I want to do. 

Maybe I could just have a site where I post nothing but rants and bitchings (about writing, of course).  For example, I could moan endlessly about how much I hate dream sequences in writing.  I really don't give a good shit about characters' dreams.  If the characters and their actions are not interesting when they're awake and you have to rely on a dream to get your point across or make something happen...well, why don't you just put that story in a fucking shredder already?

See, I'm good at bitching...

NEVER!

Navigate

Honestly, I'm not sure what I want my site to look like.  I'll just be happy it's somewhat functional, I s'pose...

As far as navigation...well, I'd like it to be easy.  Straightforward.  I think the essentials are a button to take one back to the homepage and a button for contact information.  When I'm browsing sites, those are the two that I look for more often than not. 

Maybe I just want my site to be random and nearly-pointless.  I don't think I would necessarily want to use it to promote myself or my writing.  I guess I'm behind the times or just plain stupid, but I hate the idea of marketing one's self.  A writer's work should speak for itself.  You shouldn't needs gimmicks or flashy stuff unless your writing is terrible.  And in that case, pull out all the stops, man. 

But that's not what you do these days.  Now it's ALL about the self-promotion and celebrity and persona.  It's like the writing is on the back burner and it's more important to be interesting or eccentric or even plain fucking crazy. 

I blame you for some of this bullshit, man.

Whatever.  This is what you do, right?  Play along.  Ugh.

Anyway.  Easy navigation. 

Maybe a little row of houses at the top of the page, and as you click each one a mushroom cloud appears and just takes you to god-knows-where...

Literary

I vote for Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency.

I like this online journal because it amuses me.  And usually that's enough, as far as I'm concerned.  The Open Letters are particularly enjoyable.

Really, though, the fact that this journal doesn't take itself too seriously is very inviting.  I mean, I would definitely submit something to this journal.  It's not just about being published; I want to like the journals that (hopefully) publish me, too.  This site is interesting and provides one with entertainment, nifty links to other sites, and the hope that there is room in the world for ridiculous people.

Oh, it makes me smile.

Project

I would like to learn to build a website.  Specifically, I would like to build a site for my dad's business, as I think it would be a nice present for him.  This is my dad:

As you can see, he wants to be taken very seriously.

And other than that...

Honestly, I would really like to develop some kind of desire or at least appreciation for blogs and blogging.  Because really, I don't get it.  First of all, I don't think very many people honestly have anything interesting to say.  I don't really care about reading your blog if all you write about is your newest pair of shoes and your favorite jello flavor.  It's pointless.  Also, I think that there are way too many people out there who are looking to blogs to get their careers off the ground.  Which is apparently a perfectly reasonable thing to do these days, and those of us who aren't blogging are probably fools for missing out on the chance to self-promote and get our brilliance out there to the clamoring masses.  But I don't know that it's for me. 

There is a big difference between a blogger and a writer.  I would prefer to be considered the latter.

And so...right now I'm not sure I see the appeal of blogging.  Other than narcissism.  But I am open to argument and who knows?  Maybe I'll be persuaded to see the usefulness of the blog.

Yes, that is something I would like to discover:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF BLOGGING? 

Hyper

It was a bit of a challenge finding an example of hypertext narrative.  That I didn't have to pay for, I mean.

I stumbled upon this site, which was...okay.  The music started to get on my nerves.  And apparently I only found three of the "clues" before I lost the game.  Although I'm not even entirely sure what the clues were...and I wasn't overly fond of the poetry. 

Lame.

Oh, well.

What I enjoyed most about the site was the very beginning of the poem/game.  All those doors...intriguing.  But I never really became invested beyond that.  I just started clicking on random things...much like all of my activity on the internet.

Like

How fitting, as apparently tomorrow is Roald Dahl Day. 

I'm not sure Dahl's site counts, since it isn't really his site.  He's dead, after all.  Also, for the most part, the site is just a bunch of silliness. 

SUCH GLORIOUS SILLINESS.

I always was a sucker for a good sound effect...

Anyhow.  I think Dahl's site is excellent, primarily because it is so ridiculous.  Since he's known for his very imaginative children's literature, it's fitting that his site is fun and a little insane.  Also, there's a bouncing, farting chicken. 

I must admit, I wish there a more "serious" section of his site for those of us who want to read about him and his work without distraction.  There is a section dedicated to his biography, which briefly touches on the stories he wrote for an adult audience (please read some of those).  However, the farting chicken interrupts occasionally.

Dislike

I have never read Eat, Pray, Love and, honestly, I have no desire to do so.  I suppose, then, that one could say I am looking at Elizabeth Gilbert's site objectively, having no real opinions about her or her writing. 

Or not.  I have no real talent for being objective or fair or even mildly tactful.  In fact, expressing my desire to look no further than the cover of Gilbert's best-known work has just obliterated the notion that I have no opinion about her or her writing.  Anyway.

I don't care for Gilbert's site.  First of all, the colors are just...oh God, the colors.  My eyes.  I guess I might not mind the offensive brightness of it were I a bright person.  But honestly, how chipper would a person have to be to enjoy reading text set against a background the color of highly saturated urine?  Ha, I bet I was supposed to compare that shade of yellow to sunshine or flowers or some other happy shit...whatever.  Not only that, but the majority of the page is taken up by a a picture of Gilbert herself, who appears to be a giantess.  And who looks like she wants to eat me.  The horror!  I'm sorry, but...no. 

I wish I could have copied a picture of Gilbert's massive head...

As an easily confused person, I got extremely agitated when I clicked on one of Gilbert's images and, seemingly, not a damn thing happened.  Eventually I realized that the "new page" I was directed to simply looked exactly the same as the home page, but the text at the bottom had changed.  Ridiculous.  And speaking of text, the font annoyed me immensely. 

So...how to improve this site?  Uh...no comment.  I have no constructive criticism for the gargantuan Elizabeth Gilbert.

Oh, and when you click on her huge head...broken link!  Enchanting.